My life is now his
by Corinaofsewage
Summary: A serious injury had taken Nanao's eyesight and she has been placed in the hospital. Her Taicho has been waiting for her to wake up, what might happen when she does? May continue Rated T to be save.
1. Chapter 1

Blood leaked through my open wound, starting from my left ear and ending in my right eye. I couldn't see a thing, blinded my redness and pain, horrible pain. I screamed my captains name over and over in my mind as my body smashed against the hard floor with a thud. My right ankle was now in pain, along with my lower back. The excruciating pain rushed to my head, overwhelming my body. The last thing I head was some one telling me they were sorry, it sounded like Kyouraku-taicho and then his voice faded away after that, my mind blanked out.

I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness, everywhere I turned it was pitch black. I panicked, feeling around my face frantically. I felt around for my glasses and felt someone's hand take mine, the hand was well calloused like this person had endured a lot of things like, fighting and war. The hand was also warm and reassuring, which was exactly what I needed right now.

Tears spilled from my blinded eyes and I lunged in and hugged whoever the hand from before belonged too. Then, the person hugged me back and I cried into this person's chest for about an hour until they said something and I knew exactly who they were.

"I'm so sorry, Nanao-chan. I let them hurt you and Unohana said that you may never be able to see again.... And it's all my fault. I hope you can forgive me..." The voice belonged to my captain, he sounded sad too. I longed to see his friendly face but, my vision was gone.

"It's fine, Kyouraku-taicho... I really didn't try hard enough to block the sword at that moment so, it is my fault..." I pushed myself away and a painful jolt surged through my back, causing me to fall back into the area I retreated from. I whimpered in pain as I slumped down, unable to move because of my limply bent back.

"Nanao-chan, are you okay?" He asked, laying me back down into the soft fabric below me. Wait, I was in the hospital? I guess that would explain a lot.

"Am I in the hospital... What about the mission?" I asked, still unable to see where he was. Being blind would make me terribly rude, I wouldn't know where to look when I was talking to someone...

"Of course, you broke your back, ankle and... Your eyes were gouged pretty deep in. They were able to recover them but, they are not sure if your vision will return..." He painfully uttered the last few words, ignoring my question about the mission.

"I'm sorry that I won't be of use to you anymore, Taicho. If I am going to be blind then I better quit being your fukutaicho..." I murmured under my breath as more tears dripped onto the cotton below.

"Never! You'll still be my fukutaicho, always and forever. I'll just guide you around and help you is all. I promised I would never leave your side, remember? So, if you quit, I would quit too..." He said, causing memories to flood back of all the times he promised me things. Things I thought were just jokes or bluffs, was there really truth behind those words...? I felt too ashamed to speak now so, I just laid there crying.

"Are you alright, Nanao-chan? Do you need a hug..?" He asked me, and I turned my head toward the voice and nodded then, scooped me up into a hug and pet my head with one hand and held my limp body with the other. The hug was warm and comforting, making my tears pour and cheeks flush a rosy red. Why was I going blind, of all the things this was the worst for me. My usefulness to him was disappearing...

"I'm sorry..." I whimpered, grabbing at his clothes and gritting my teeth.

"Sorry? I'm the one who should be sorry. You did nothing wrong..." He sounded upset, yet, his calming voice was so soothing I decided to just nod and bury myself into his chest. Why did he have to be so nice? Why? He would be better off getting a new fukutaicho.

"Don't cry Nanao-chan and don't you dare think that getting a replacement for you would be better..." He said, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"Why not?" I uttered, quickly wishing I hadn't.

"Because, I care about you, even if you can't do my work anymore, clean or anything else you used to do... Like rea-... I'm so sorry Nanao!!" He announced, embracing me tightly. A uncanny warmth was dripping onto my head, tears perhaps? I couldn't move nor, could I see.

"I can't forgive myself... I took away one of your favorite things to do. It's all my fault." He murmured into my ear, causing me to be confused and blush at the same time. I was confused because I wondered why he was so convinced it was his fault and I was blushing because of the warm feeling I got when his lips almost touched my ear. It was an uneasy feeling, so warm and reassuring yet, so embarrassing and addictive. The hug had brought it up as well, this feeling, was a good one. At least I think it was.

"Do you want me to read you a book, Nanao?" My taicho asked, causing me to grip at his clothes again for comfort. Why did he offer to read to me was it... Oh, right, I'm blind. I hope I'm not becoming dumb too.

"You don't have too if your busy, Taicho." I offered to stay unread to and he took no notice.

"It's settled then, I shall go get you a book. Is there one you were reading before the mission?" He asked, laying me back down in the bed, followed by the sound of footsteps, becoming quieter. It was as if someone was walking away. Was he really going to get me a book?

"There is a book I was reading, taicho... It's on your desk." I said dryly, staring into nothing. Because there was nothing to stare at, life seemed dull. With my senses I could create a picture but, it was nowhere compared to what I remember seeing. I heard the door shut closed and the room grew silent. So silent in fact, I could hear my rapidly heart beat decreasing. The monotonous sound of the rain against the window filled the environment, bringing a beat for my hearts song. The whole room was really filled with music once you realized it... Just most people focus on pictures and not the almost invisible sounds all around them.

Maybe being blind wasn't the end of my world yet, things still seemed beautiful and I didn't have to do work anymore. Though, I worry about my taicho, can he even do his paperwork? I guess I should think about that much because he wouldn't offer to do it it he couldn't. He could always ask the third seat but, I doubt he would trouble him with affairs such as these. He was a kind person, really. I never notice it all to much but, when I think back on it, he was always helping me. As well as flirting with me and teasing me. He couldn't possibly care that deeply for me right? Just as a friend and his fukutaicho... Right?


	2. Chapter 2

I heard a knock on the door, awaking me from my light daze. I laid there, perfectly still, waiting to hear any trace of voice. Then, a few seconds later the door opened and I heard the same footsteps from before, calm and paced. They got closer and closer until the stopped and I heard a skid like when you dragged something across wood panelling.

Then the opening of a not so recently opened book and a sigh, once they sighed I knew it was my captain. His voice was different from most others, relaxed and friendly at most times. Actually, he always sounded relaxed. I found that normal for him to be so relaxed, I mean, he barely had any duties to preform, unlike me.

"Sorry, I took so long, you must of been bored out of your mind. It's just I ran into some of your friends. They were asking me so many questions about you it was like a paparazzi, they must have been really worried..." He placed his hand over mine again, warming my entire body from head to toe. I held in my sigh and closed my blinded eyes, I didn't really feel like using my strength to keep them open if they useless to me.

"That did you tell them?" I asked, feeling a bit tired.

"I told them you were doing good... And that you lost your vision." He replied slowly

"Understood. I suppose I will be talking to them later on..." I chuckled a bit at my joke which, my taicho didn't truly get. All he did was add more warmth into my hand by squeezing it gently. I was wondering why he did that, I couldn't see his face so, I couldn't determine his emotions with just facial expression alone anymore.

"Are you upset about my vision still, Kyouraku Taicho? Because, don't worry I'm fine." I reassured him, the concern hinted in my proper and polite voice.

"I'm fine... Why do you always say that? Your not fine, your probably confused..." He sounded angry now, it was the first time in a long time I have heard him angry. I felt like telling him I was sorry but, would he take that? So many thought raced through my head at that time, I was confused and he knew that. I thought about all of those other times, all I did was lie to him, did he know what I was really feeling all of those times as well? Why did he ignore it before, did he not want to anger me? Then I stopped my rapid thinking process before it got too far and took a deep breath.

"I say it because I don't want to trouble you." I stated, clearly for him to hear. It was the truth. The cold, undecorated truth. I felt the regret of saying it when he didn't respond. His hand was still and he remained silent.

"I... How about you read me my book now...?" I stuttered, trying to get him to forget about it and talk to me again.

"Nanao-chan..." He murmured

"Yes, Taicho?" I replied with that age old phrase of mine, prepared for the worse, a slap, a verbal lashing or maybe even breaking his promise and firing me. Yes, I was prepared, so prepared it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Nanao-chan. I'm so sorry you felt that way this whole time..." He wrapped his arms around my body and lifted me into his embrace, holding my head close to his chest. I was shocked, I lied to him and he told me he was sorry. Why? I deserved punishment, he was much higher in rank then me and I lied to him. The pure fact that I lied to him and he knew was enough to put me in a mental home, if he punished me maybe I would feel my sin was repaid but, not like this.

"I don't deserve this..." I uttered

"Nanao-chan... Don't be so negative." He told me, propping up my chin with his hand and stroking my cheek with one of his fingers. When his finger touched my cheek I smacked it away out of reflex and blushed.

"I'm sorry for touching you Nanao-chan, I forgot you were an off limits flower~" He teased

"Sir, please be a bit more serious." I flatly scolded him, wondering how he could change the atmosphere with just one action. He seemed to always be able to change it like that, ever since I became his fukutaicho and maybe even before that.

"Why?" He whined, hoisting me into his lap, "I was going to read you a story, remember?" He whispered into my ear, causing my to blush a bit more and try to pull away from him, which was hard when I couldn't see where anything was.

"So you do~? Then I'll start from where you left off... Hm..." He wrapped his arm around my waist and hoisted me back onto his lap right when I had escaped, "Okay, here we are. I'm sorry Jane, my life seems to short to carry on the business without a successor... You might have to stay here and give up being a singer... Her grandpa tried to reason with her... But, father! This is my only chance! Please... Please..." He continued to read the book and I decided to listen even though I was sitting in his lap because, I hated to admit it but, I had lost to him this time around.

"I'm sorry but, you can't become a singer and run the company when I die! How about you just give up singing for now? He tried again to persuade her... Never! Jane screamed, running away from the farm..." He kept on reading my book, which I found quite funny actually. Kyouraku Shunsui reading a book? Most would think he was going crazy well, I wouldn't because nobody else would know that he was reading for me. It made me sad that I could never read another book again but, he made me feel a bit better about it. Kyouraku Taicho was reading me a book because my vision was lost, of course I felt a bit better.

He had a firm grip on me but, it began to let up as I gave up my pride for that day. I threw it all away and rested my tired back on his chest, letting out a mellow yawn. My arms slowly found a place to rest, laying over his arm that had laid nicely across my stomach. It felt so good, leaning on him like this, he was so warm and his breathing was in perfect rhythm with mine.

All of the words he spoke started to jumble up and the story began to make no sense. My eyes began to water and my eyes lids became heavy. Then, before I could stop myself, my eyes were closed off from the harsh world, the tears that had moistened my eyes dripped down my cheeks. This was the first time falling asleep was so... Peaceful. So, warm. This was truly a wrong that felt so right. Was it okay to sin like this every once in awhile?


	3. Chapter 3

I heard the sound of a few girls chatting, it was loud and noisy yet, kind of tolerable. I opened my eyes to see nothing, nothing but, black. I was a bit scared, being blind was so... Lonely and everything around you was unpredicted. Then I heard one of the girls I heard, they sounded like they were talking to me.

"Nanao! I've been wanting to talk with you for so long! It's me Rangiku~" The person told me their name and I looked around the area the voice came from.

"Oh... Matsumoto-san, hello..." I uttered passively

"Nanao... So, how are you feeling? Anything hurt?" Rangiku asked me, sounding concerned.

"I'm fi-" I stopped, remembering yesterday, "Just feeling a bit shaken up is all... No pain." I replied

"Thats good to hear... So, what happened yesterday?" She asked, teasingly.

"What?! What about yesterday?" I aggressively questioned her, I wanted to know what she knew about yesterday.

"Don't play dumb, Shunsui said he was going to read you a book. Did he?" She giggled

"Huh? Oh, yeah... He did." I looked down, blushing slightly.

"Why the flushed face, Nanao~? He just read you a book right?" Rangiku kept on her teasing parade.

"No reason... Yes, he just read to me." I stated, trying to regain composure.

"Okay! Well, then where were you when he was reading and don't lie to me." She asked me, chuckling a bit.

"I... I was... On this very bed?" I said, not so very convincingly.

"Oh~? Where was Shunsui then because I find that a little bit hard to believe." Rangiku took the parade farther, causing me to blush more.

"He was on a chair next to the bed." I uttered dryly

"And he wasn't touching you in any way?" She asked, as if trying to pull enough information out of me to form up what happened.

"Of course not!" I raised my voice, just wanting her to quit questioning me.

"Really, Shunsui kept his hands to himself around Nanao-chan and read to her?" She sounded shocked

"Well... He... I...... Uh...." I struggled until someone hand touched mine, it was calloused and warm like the one from yesterday, it was my taicho. My current strong hold had melted away and I was rendered speechless.

"Rangiku, she is telling the truth. Don't pester her. I didn't touch her, that would be terribly rude when she was recovering from an injury I couldn't protect her from. Shame on you for thinking so badly of me..." My captain just told her off, that was so unexpected. I expected him to blab about everything. I was so happy right now, regaining my stored up pride and dignity. Kyouraku Shunsui had his respecting side as well and I just never noticed it before.

"I'm sorry Nanao, Shunsui. So, Nanao?" She asked

"Its okay, Matsumoto-san... Hm..? What is it?" I replied calmly

"Do you think you can come to the meetings? Being blind and all...?" She was seriously worried so fast, was she having a mood swing? I never always understood my friend Matsumoto. It seemed my captain understood her and her captain seemed to understand her as well yet, it was difficult for me to understand her and now being blind it was even harder.

"I think I can manage, if you come to pick me up..." I murmured

"Or I can always drop you off there, Nanao-chan~" Shunsui added in

"Huh? Oh... I guess, Taicho." I stuttered

"Oh, Shunsui! You can't bring her~ You don't know where it is..." Rangiku sighed

"But, I'm going to have to be Nanao-chan's eyes from now on, I should know where all her little hiding places are~ I bet I could find it anyway~" He mewed playfully

"Shut up! You could never find it!" My large chested friend shouted

"Oh, Kyouraku-taicho.... Why are you here?" I uttered, behind all of the fighting

"Do you want to know Nanao-chan~?" My captain cooed into my ear, causing me to blush and pull away from his heated breath. I nodded, wondering why he was here.

"Okay, I'll tell you. You can get out of the hospital now and I wanted to walk around with you a bit." He said, petting me on the head and I swatted at his hand in reply.

"I suppose I'll take you up on your offer, sir." I said coldly, sitting up in my bed and wobbling.

"Do you need help, Nanao-chan?" He asked, placing a hand on my back, lifting me out of the bed and holding me. I struggled to get away from him, fairly confused because of this warm feeling slowly taking over my muscles and relaxing them involuntarily.

"Hahahaa! Nanao-chan your so cute!" All Rangiku did was laugh as he walked away with me in his arms. Then he cradled me against him with one hand for a second and I heard a door close before he placed his other hand under me again. I stopped struggling after realizing that I was much weaker than him, especially in my condition. He was only helping me, I mean, I don't even know if I can stand. Then a thought crossed my mind, how long was I here?

"Taicho... How long was I in the hospital?" I asked him, grabbing onto his kosode as his warmth crawled through my body.

"You were sleeping for a week or so straight... Nanao-chan. You worried me so much, I stayed by your bedside all day for a little bit over a week waiting for you to wake up then, one day you opened your eyes and I was so happy at that moment. I felt so relieved you hadn't been too hurt mentally or physically." He sounded on the verge of tears, another one of his sides I had never noticed. Kyouraku-taicho had never been upset around me, he always acted happy but, was he sad too? I was angry at myself for not fully understanding him, I thought I knew him and yet, he still surprises me... Now, being blind, I might never know his true feelings about anything.

"I..." I stuttered and stopped when he began to speak again.

"You shouldn't be saying sorry, I should be. If I had ran to your aid at that time you would be okay right now, you would be able to see and all would be normal. It's really all my fault that your precious eyes are soiled. Could you ever forgive me, Nanao-chan?" He ranted on and I couldn't take it so, I grabbed on to his haori and tugged at it, wanting his attention.

"What is it, Nanao-chan..." He asked me, probably confused by my sudden childish act.

"I forgive you because it is not your fault and even if it was, I would never hate you, Taicho." I reassured him that I wouldn't hate him, maybe dislike his company at times and say I hate him at times but, I have never really hated him, never.

"Nanao..." My Taicho left off the horribly annoying suffix, holding me closer to his body. I felt more of that strange, heat that felt so pleasurable. I quite liked being held by him, even if I would never say that to him.

"I'm sorry I doubted you, I knew you were just playing hard to get, really~" He mewed

"So... Taicho... About my clothes... I think I am wearing hospital clothes, am I not?" I asked, playing around with the soft fabric I was now wearing.

"Ah... Hm, they said you could go home and change because, your uniform was terribly damaged so, we can go to your house and find some of your other clothes... You have other clothes right?" He asked me a dumb question, ignoring my question about what I was wearing.

"Of course I do sir..." I told him, still confused with what I was wearing, it felt like an under kosode... Perhaps a yukata?

"Are you cold, Nanao-chan? Your yukata is a bit small..." What he said made me turn red as a cherry, small? I was wearing something small?

"Wait... What am I wearing?" I stuttered, worried about showing more skin than comfortable.

"Your wearing a white yukata, cut to about four inches above your knees, it actually looks quite good on you, Nanao-chan~" He complemented me in the wrong place in the wrong time so, I smacked at him with my bare hand and missed. I could see him at all anymore, making it pure chance if I was going to land a hit on him or not.

"Sir, these clothes are too indecent to be seen outside in..." I uttered

"Hm... You could be right about that one so, you can borrow my haori~" He set me down, holding me against him with one hand while I could hear him, probably, taking off his pink haori with the other. Letting go of me for a second, he wrapped the soft fabric around my small frame and lifted me into his arms again.

"Taicho, you really don't need to do this... I'm fine." I tried to struggle out of his grip, failing once again.

"Well, I was thinking about letting you walk but, you said you were fine once again so, now I will punish you by carrying you all the way to your house!" My taicho came to a ghastly conclusion that made my insides feel like they were nearly going to explode. Why was he so annoying?

"I'm okay, really. I can walk on my own!" I demanded, pouting.

"Nanao-chan, your so cute when your angry~" He mewed

"Sir... Lets just go to my house." I growled, biting my lip as he hurried off toward the 8th division barracks... At least, I hoped he was going there.


End file.
